Supposed to Be
by 4TnT
Summary: trying to salvage the finale with some fluff and a twist...CH 5 up!
1. Chapter 1

**

* * *

Supposed to Be…**

Disclaimer: Unfortunately I don't own anything in Star Trek…actually I don't really

own much of anything come to think of it…

A/N: This starts in the finale, right before Trip is loaded into the scanner thingy.

* * *

T'Pol flew to Sickbay from the bridge. Her mind was denying the report that she had heard about Trip's condition. The Capitan had contacted the Bridge saying that he was taking Commander Tucker down to the Sickbay and that he was in critical condition. T'Pol had given the command to Lieutenant Reed, although she now realized that he would be just as incapacitated as she was with the news of Trip's possible death.

She did not want to comprehend the idea of life without Trip in her head, making jokes that made her subconscious mind laugh, or greeting her everyday with his sweet smile as she walked into Engineering.

Although it had been more than six years since they had been involved in a serious romantic relationship, their conversation onboard the Shuttle Pod had led her to believe that there might be some small hope of their reconciliation. They would have stayed in contact and possibly started where they left off.

T'Pol immediately chastised herself for thinking this way. They _will_ stay in contact and they _will_ pick up where they left off. It was illogical to jump to conclusions at this point.

* * *

When T'Pol walked into the pandemonium of Sickbay, her logical thoughts vanished. All she could see or hear was impending death. Trip lay in a bed and looked to be severely burned and very weak. The Doctor was shouting orders to the medical assistants.

"Ensign Harmon get that hypospray over here now!" Phlox looked wildly around for his med assistant, who was loading the hypo as fast as was humanly possibly.

The Doctor was usually a very calm Denobulan and for T'Pol to see him so frantic was an instant red flag in her mind.

Archer was standing beside Trip trying to keep him calm and still, but was looking rather bleak himself. T'Pol waited silently nearby as Phlox and Archer carried Trip over to the medical scanner and placed him onto the bed. They glanced nervously at each other as Trip slid in.

T'Pol looked at the man she still loved so deeply and realized that she was losing him . Never again would she inwardly smile at his mannerisms, or share a meal with the quiet, wonderful conversation that she looked forward to daily. She had lost him, and would have to abandon her dreams of sharing the rest of his years with him. They had put their relationship on hold and had lost the six years they might have shared together. His life had been abruptly and crudely cut short.

As she was thinking these things, silent tears began to fall down her cheeks. She had only cried once in her life before, and that was when she had held her dying mother in her arms. Trip raised his head to look at her once more and smiled before going into the medical scanner. She heard a voice in her head as she had so many times before.

"_Don' cry now…I'll always be with ya, and besides, what would your Vulcans say if they could see you crying over a Human?"_

T'Pol was pushed beyond her emotional limit, and knew she had to leave this place. She was so separated from the world that she didn't hear Phlox's last remark as she stumbled out the door.

"Well, he is critical, but there is a very slim chance I could hold on to him a while longer."

* * *

A/N: Well? PLEASE let me know what you think. This is the very first thing I have ever written, so it would mean a lot to me if you could give whatever kind of feedback you can. I am completely open to anything from high praise to constructive criticism. I would prefer to not have a downright hate comment, but if that's what you think is needed that that's ok too.  This will be updated as soon as I know if its well received at all. And btw, later chapters will be longer than this. This was sort of an intro… 


	2. Chapter 2

**Supposed to Be**

Disclaimer: Nope…I don't own anything, especially not Star Trek… I also don't own the snippet of song in this…its by James Blunt, who is a wonderful artist. Go buy his stuff and give him money so I won't get sued for using his 17 words…thankx!

A/N: Thank you to all of you who reviewed…you really helped me! This chapter takes place about a week after Trip's death.

* * *

She had never felt so alone in all of her life. T'Pol stood at the edge of Trip's grave on Earth. She was the last one standing there after the funeral. Everyone had seemed to understand that she needed extra time to say goodbye to him.

Her mind felt empty now, because she no longer had that comfortable warmth of Trip in her subconscious mind. It was the loudest silence she had ever heard, roaring in her ears and making her head ache.

After Trip's death, Enterprise had flown back to Earth, stopping on Vulcan briefly to attend to some matters that had needed to be cleared up. Enterprise had not been to Vulcan for a while, so this was the conclusion that T'Pol had come to as to why they were there. She had been in a kind of daze over the last week, not fully taking in her surroundings and interactions.

The funeral had been brief but touching. Trip's parents were there, and had come over to talk to her and offer her comfort as much as receive comfort from this strong willed woman. She had met them after Archer's speech to the Federation, and was immediately attracted to them because of their obvious similarity to Trip. The whole crew had been there to pay their respects to their friend and comrade.

T'Pol had cried again, silent tears streaming down her cheeks. This phenomenon had become quite common over the last few weeks, although this was the first time she had done so in public. She had watched the crew's senior officers. Hoshi and Travis were both crying, neither one restraining their emotions. Malcolm was completely distraught. He had been one of Trip's closest friends on Enterprise, watching movies with Trip, taking his leave with him, and confiding his thoughts and feelings to him.

The doctor and the Captain were the only ones whose reaction she could not interpret. They seemed distant and unsettled, as if they were watching a horror unfold before them. T'Pol supposed this could be because they had been the ones to see Trip die, but she couldn't be sure. Even after all her years working with humans, she still could not always judge their reactions properly.

* * *

The coffin had been closed. T'Pol welcomed this small comfort, as she did not know how she could have borne to see Trip's burned and lifeless body. She had struggled enough when he was in a coma many years before, but this was different. This was Trip, _her_ Trip that was being buried. On Vulcan they did not burry their dead, but burned them as a sign of respect. The sandy terrain on Vulcan was such that it was not easy to dig graves, and even harder to keep the bodies buried. As a result, she was not used to having a grave to visit. She had already decided that she could not stay on Earth, that she needed to isolate herself in the starkness of Vulcan society. There no emotion existed. And she could escape her feelings of loneliness and regret. Regret because of the years they could have had together, could have shared.

She remembered a human song she had heard some time before.

"_Goodbye my lover,_

_Goodbye my friend, _

_You have been the one, _

_You have been the one for me…"

* * *

_

As the day drew to a close, T'Pol finally knelt down and spoke to her…what? Lover, friend, bondmate, comrade, and so much more.

"Hello. You must forgive my discomfort; I am not accustomed to speaking to you this way. I am used to being able to see you, smell you, hear your remarks or jokes. I am certain now that my statement on the shuttle pod was true. I miss you very much.

Jonathan tried to help me by relating some common human sentiments regarding death, but I am afraid that they were confusing.

You see, it is apparently common knowledge that time heals all wounds, but I am finding that absence makes the heart grow stronger. Every day that you have not been aboard Enterprise, I have missed your presence more. I do not know how I will be able to deal with this loss in the future, but I will attempt to try.

I will always remember you t'hy'la."

She was crying again.

* * *

A/N: thank you to all who reviewed! It means a lot, and keeps me motivated. Keep it up:) 


	3. Chapter 3

**Supposed to Be**

Disclaimer: I own nothing…

A/N: Thank you all for the reviews! I love them: ).

* * *

Two years had come and gone. T'Pol was now back on Vulcan teaching in the same position that her mother had occupied for so many years. She found it ironic that they had placed her in the same job, but found that because of her years helping her mother organize lessons, she adapted to the flow easily.

The social order and etiquette on Vulcan was at once unbearable and comforting for T'Pol. While she had grown used to the interest and unpredictability of humans, and even grown fond of them, she now found that she needed the stability of her non-emotional people.

Her own emotions were still so close to the surface and overwhelming that she had taken to meditating for twice as long as she had in the past. She had worked hard to once again submerge her feelings into her subconscious mind.

But she still cried.

* * *

Jonathan Archer was working at Starfleet now. He had been promoted to an Admiral , and although he still attended to matters that were within his area of experience, his main job was to educate cadets on the many dangers and trials in space.

He visited Vulcan often, as he was the most experienced Admiral in dealing with Soval, T'Pau, and others. He was frequently needed to smooth out some complication, and used these problems as an excuse to travel and be in another environment.

He had purchased a house far outside the civilized area on Vulcan, but this still seemed to be too close for comfort for many of the residents. He would stay on Vulcan for weeks at a time, visiting T'Pol every couple of days, but mainly keeping to his house and his work at the Embassy.

* * *

As T'Pol was preparing a lesson on Starfleet Academy and its workings, she remembered that Jonathan was on Vulcan for one of his lengthy visits. He could be very useful for giving her information to use in her class, and might even be able to make a presentation.

When she considered going to his house and asking him, however, she realized that in the years that he had been visiting her and staying on Vulcan, she had never once heard of its location. She knew that he kept the location quiet because of an awkward run in with some religious Vulcans that wanted his autograph because of his "experience" with Surak. However, to simply let it slip his mind to tell her where he was seemed illogical.

She went to the Earth Embassy later that day to ask about his whereabouts, and was surprised to see that she had to show identification and credentials before she was allowed the information.

She took a small shuttle out to his isolated house and entered the comfortable entryway. She noticed as she looked around that the decorations were not the simple, plain style that she associate with him, but rather more cluttered and random. She supposed he could have relaxed his housekeeping now that his living space was no longer used to entertain senior officers for dinner.

She walked through the entry thinking and knocked on the glass front door. After more than a minute, she tried again. Finally, after several more tries, she saw him walking towards the door looking slightly alarmed.

* * *

He didn't know what she was doing here.

How _could_ she be here? He had made sure that he never told her the location of his house. Maybe she had gone to the Embassy. Yes, that must be it. Of course that mindless receptionist wouldn't mind giving her the location as long as T'Pol could identify herself. The Embassy couldn't understand how important privacy was to him now.

_Well, it had to happen sometime,_ he told himself.

* * *

Jonathan looked as if he was rapidly trying to calm himself down.

"T'Pol! Well , I never expected to see you here! Umm.. how _did_ you find me? Of course I'm glad to see you. It's been over a week since I last saw you." He tried to cover up his discomfort quickly.

"I went to the Embassy. I assumed that they would have the necessary information, and the proved to be very useful. I simply had to…"

T'Pol stopped her explanation. Archer went white as they both heard someone come through the halls towards them.

"If you have a company or a previous engagement I can come back later to ask my question" T'Pol offered.

"Ah…Well, I was…"

Jonathan trailed off as the guest called through the halls.

"Jonathan? Joooonathaaaan? Do ya have ta go out later?"

T'Pol froze and suddenly realized that she did not want to face who was going to come through that door.

He did however, and T'Pol had to grab the nearest chair to remain standing.

How could he be here?

* * *

A/N: HA! Sorry… I couldn't resist….it was in my story plan…I'm assuming you're smart enough to know who it is…look for some clues. I'll give you three guesses. Let me know who you think it is! Next one will be up soon, I promise…lol.. I have nothing better to do. : ) 


	4. Chapter 4

**Supposed to Be**

Disclaimer: I own nada…

A/N: Sorry for the wait folks…I just found out I'm moving across country for the fifth time in my life..so..pardon the distraction…: )..and enjoy this chapter!

* * *

But was this man him? The man that stood before her was by all appearances a middle aged _Vulcan_ male. His ears came to points in the same shape as hers, and his brows were the slanted shape that was so familiar to her, especially over the last two year.

What if this man only looked like Trip? What if he was another experiment like Sim, designed to save Trip, but becoming a new individual?

All of her logic and scientific knowledge told her that this could not be Trip. She had seen him die. Or had she? She had seen him _about_ to die, and therein lay the conflict. Had she been relying on an assumption? Had a human fault put her through the worst trauma she had ever experienced?

At the same time, her heart was screaming that he was Trip. He still had the same smile that she always secretly looked forward to, the same eyes that she had looked into so many times.

As her emotions overwhelmed her, her mind and logic suddenly became aware of a very strong force that she had not felt in a long while. Her mind reeled and she stumbled as she abruptly felt the presence of the bond to Trip. Because she had convinced herself that he was dead, she had let go of their bond connection. Now it came back full force, a force she had been used to, but now would take some time to adjust to.

It must be him.

* * *

"How?" T'Pol asked.

She wanted to know the answer to this question more than anything else right now. _How_ could he be alive? _How_ did he get here? _How_ did he become Vulcan? Most important of all was _how_ could they have neglected to tell her?

"How…well, its such a long story…" Jonathan began,

"Jonathan, considering the circumstances, I believe that I have sufficient time, and if not, then I can afford to make it." T'Pol was fighting to keep her voice calm. Two years of pain and they were stalling for more time.

"Yes…yes I'm sure you do. We have a lot of explaining to do don't we?" Jonathan seemed resigned now. As necessary as it was to fully inform her, he was certainly not looking forward to her reaction when they did.

Trip came forward for the first time and smiled at her. It was not his usual elated smile, but more regretful pitying.

"I'll tell it. I've been tha one ta cause ya the most pain, so it should come from me." He sat down next to her, and T'Pol slowly sank into the chair across from him, uneasy about what he might have to say.

"First thing that happened was Phlox saving ma life. He was able ta stabilize me so I could relax enough ta heal. Then we had ta deal with those aliens that were after Shran. After I killed some of their crew, they weren't too happy with me. They sent out a universal message. The general gist of it was that they wanted ma head on a platter. Jon here decided to put me into hiding until it settled down.

Starfleet announced I was dead, and when we stopped at Vulcan for some "repair" work, Jon got a house for me to hide out at. As an extra safety precaution, Phlox decided ta give me some plastic surgery. That was the last part of their protection plan."

He laughed, "I hope ya like ma new look!"

* * *

T'Pol didn't know what to think or say first. Here was the man she had torn her heart out over. Here was the man whom she had forced herself into a stark life for, so that she might recover from the pain caused by his death. And he was making jokes.

Maybe her absence in their plan was the logical place to start. "Why was I not made aware of this…"protection plan"?"

Trip and Jonathan shifted uncomfortably. They exchanged glances that clearly said they had dreaded this very question. Jonathan chose to tackle the answer first.

"Weeelll…. We didn't want to put you in danger. We thought it would be easier for you to come to grips with the fact that Trip had survived, then it would be to constantly be in danger because of your knowledge. If you were somehow taken by these aliens, then you would have knowledge that could be vital to them, and deadly to you. We didn't want to risk you getting hurt."

T'Pol stood slowly, her face betraying an anger she had not felt for years.

" I regret to inform you that your precaution were in vain. You have caused me more pain by this deception then any interrogator could ever have induced. "

She walked to the door, her body stiff and her face set.

"Goodbye gentlemen. I do not think I will be seeing you anytime in the near future."

* * *

A/N: OOOOO.. what's going to happen? Don't worry, I'm a sucker for happy endings. The next chapter will finish it up. Again, sorry for the wait, we were given about three weeks to move across country. AHH! Hope you like this chapter: ) 


	5. Chapter 5

**Supposed to Be**

Disclaimer: I own none of it..well…the plot : ).

A/N: Last chapter! I hope you guys liked it..let me know what you thought of the whole thing!

* * *

T'Pol was halfway down the path to her hovercraft when she stopped. The realization of what she had done hit her like a tidal wave. She had just walked away from the man she wanted to spend the rest of her life with.

She had blown up at him, at least by her standards, and walked away from the one thing she had been unable to stop thinking about for the last two years.

* * *

Trip walked over to the glass door and watched her walk away.

_How could I have done that to her?_ _She deserves better than that._

He watched her walk away, having to let her go for the second time in his life. Before he had no choice, he had been forced to leave her to save his own life, and the lives of everyone around him.

But this time he had an option.

* * *

T'Pol heard the footsteps behind her, and knew it was Trip even before she turned around.

He was running towards her with his face set in determination. By the time he got to her he was panting from the effort. It was a sharp reminder to her that the man who had survived days in the desert on an alien planet, and days stuck in a shuttle in the freezing cold, could not run a few yards now because of his sacrifice.

He had given up his life to save the ship and its captain that day, in more ways than one.

"Please…don't…go. I'm…sorry I put you…through this. I.."

Trip had to stop because of his lack of air. T'Pol had cut it off with her lips pressed firmly against his.

* * *

The wedding was a few months later, which seemed to be an illogical amount of time to T'Pol, who was accustomed to Vulcan weddings that took a few days to prepare for. It was quiet due to the still present danger of Trip's enemies, but it had their closest friends from Enterprise present.

She wore a dress that was silvery and smooth. It had clean lines, and fit her snugly but not tightly. T'Pol explained that silver or gray was a traditional color for Vulcan weddings, as it was a merging of black and white, the symbolic colors for male and female. Trip had gone along with anything she wanted to do, and their wedding ended up being a perfect mixture of Vulcan and Human customs and styles.

At the wedding reception, the senior officers came up to them to congratulate them and give them wedding presents personally. Hoshi gave them a Vulcan language kit, so that Trip would feel more at home on the planet. Jonathan gave them his house to use, arguing that he would not need it anymore.

Malcolm came forward with a huge grin on his face.

"I have some great news. I've been working with a division of Starfleet that deals with tracking down alien criminals and locking them up or making sure their own planet does. Well, it looks like we've found those…things…that attacked you and the captain. You don't have to hide anymore."

He went away still beaming as Trip and T'Pol contemplated the effects of this knowledge. They could live again. She wouldn't have to live in hiding, and he wouldn't have to be dead to the universe.

Phlox was the last to come up, his usually oversized smile lighting up his face.

"Well, it seems as though I get to be the one with the best news. "

He handed them a PADD with some medical data and diagrams.

Trip recognized one diagram in a flash. It was a sketch of DNA, although it looked slightly different from the Human DNA he was used to seeing.

"Doc, is this…"

Phlox beamed at them. "It most certainly is Mr. Tucker. I took some medical research to some friends of mine to verify my findings. I am a little slower than my counterpart was with the creation of Lorian, but I have finally discovered how to create a Human-Vulcan hybrid!" Phlox was beaming throughout his speech.

T'Pol was starting to cry again. Trip wasn't long in joining her.

* * *

A/N: Well, that's the end! I hope you guys enjoyed it, I loved writing it. Let me know what you'd like to see next? 


End file.
